This is a childrens book I wrote in early high school.
7 Steps to Keep your Bedroom Monster Free
By Pushka Gib’en, Illustrated By Kyle J.
Step 1
Cover yourself in cream cheese; it’s a known fact that monsters don’t like the smell
Step 2
Make Beefcake and put it under your bed.
Put these ingredients in a blender
* 1x whole cow
* 10 grams of marmalade dipped in cheese
* Sponge cake base
Blend for 9 hours.
Note- makes sure you don’t get attacked while you are making the beefcake. Don’t forget Step 1.
Step 3
Put some brick-ticles on, shown in the following diagram
To make them, find the most expensive glasses you can, and smash them with a brick, then cover them in clay and mud mixed with cement. Leave in the sun to dry.
When you put them on, the monsters cant see you.
Step 4
Find every fan you can and put them in your cupboard. Monsters can’t stand the breas.
Step 5
Clean your room with a broomstick dipped in chocolate flavoured cheese.
This will keep the monsters from hiding in your walls because monsters are allergic to chocolate and cheese.
Step 6
Make a monster trap:
1) Get a really big box
2) Put your brother/sister or anything else in it (for bait).
3) Watch from a distance until a monster goes inside.
4) Close and seal with stikytape and a stapler.
Step 7
HA HA! there is no step 7!, there’s not even any step 1!, I made it all up! Monsters don’t exist; I had you there didn’t I? Hee hee…
…AHHH A MONSTER!!!!!!!
Just kidding….
. . . A H H H H H H H H H H H H
**gets killed**
Year 9 Ku-ring-gai Creative Arts High School NOVA elective classes
creative writing and illustration 2004